And The World Falls Apart
by Jaws That Bite
Summary: Nothing is as it seems. Heero realizes this. He sees the truth. He goes mad. In the midst of the pieces, the blood is running. What happened three years ago? What is the truth? HIATUS
1. Can You See the Cracks? part one

_I don't think you really understand. Nothing is what you think. Reality is not reality. Dreams are taboo grounds when conscious. Truths are lies, and secrets are common knowledge. Hidden motives lie within hidden motives. It goes too deep to comprehend._

_What did you see in the darkness? Or what did you think you saw?_

_Do you know anything? What is actually real? What is false? How can we tell where something ends and something begins? How do we comprehend time? Does it exist? Do we?_

_It's all falling apart. Shattering like glass, leave broken fragments of something we never really understood. They cut the hands that reach for them. They need the color, that sickly red blood, to paint our world with its bloody pieces._

_Because eventually, everything will go to hell._

_It's only a matter of time._

* * *

And The World Falls Apart 

By: Blade-kun

* * *

**First Time: Bloody Pieces**

Can You see the Cracks?

It was a sick game. That's really all it was. Can't they see that?

It didn't take me long to see that. I just had to wipe the blood out of my eyes, clear the red tint from my vision. Then it was so clear. I wondered how I missed it before.

I think I scared them. When I saw it for the first time, I was so entranced I lost my mind. I went berserk. I suddenly boiled with adrenaline and I couldn't breathe. It smothered me. I had to let it out. I went on a rampage.

They were horrified when I returned, standing on Quatre's doorstep. Somewhere in my mind, I had the nerve to be amused at the absolutely floored look on his face when he opened the door and saw me, terror consuming him at the red I was otherwise painted in. The slight drizzle couldn't even begin to wash it away.

I think what scared our blonde empath so much was the overwhelmingly, abysmal emptiness he felt in me. I had nothing. I felt nothing. I was as blank as a slate, not a single emotion to be found even in the deepest recesses of my soul. I had only clarity. Clarity of the truth. Even after I recovered, I felt nothing for the crime I had committed, the mass murder I reaped in my search to confirm it was real. Trowa was the only one who dared come near me. Duo felt too sick to come within range. Quatre too afraid. Wufei too horrified and utterly confused to even want to try to comprehend. It all came down to Trowa. Trowa was the only one who could. He was the only one empty enough to these things to bear it. And even he did not question, did not try to understand. He merely accepted it.

No, he did not pull me back from insanity. I was never really insane to begin with. I was just so overwhelmed by how clear everything was I couldn't cope. It was so very clear. It cracked my entire being, painting a spider web on the mirror of my soul. But it did not break me. It didn't shatter me. But, oh, how it dirtied me. How it hurt me at the same time it made everything easier, lighter, simpler.

Now I knew. And I cannot begin to tell.

I knew they were afraid. I didn't hold it against them. It was too much for them. Hell, it was almost too much for me. So I left. I couldn't hurt them like I hurt. The truth cracked me. It would surely shatter them.

Don't get me wrong. It isn't a bad truth. It's like emptying a full glass and filling it with something else. That's what it feels like. If you can survive the emptying, everything is better. But the emptying is so awful I can easily see how most can't. But the filling…it's better than anything. It's so wonderful you couldn't possibly put it into words. It just makes you feel so whole when you're done, more whole than you've ever felt. Drugs and all those other despicable highs and things pale in comparison to this otherworldly experience.

I don't ever want to turn back.

Because of this, I fear I may never again see my fellow pilots. At least, not of my own volition. If fate should have us meet, then so be it. But by my own conscious decision, I will never purposely return. Not because of them. Because of me. I know only too well what I could do to them. What what I know could do to them.

I hate the thought. It makes me hope that fate will have us meet again, for I am too stubborn to go back on my own.

Because the truth is…I don't want to break them.

"Heero?"

"Heero!"

I looked up into pools of green. So many emotions in them. Concern, confusion, and something else I could identify. I move my gazes to aqua ones. Fear, sadness, worry, and also confusion. I found the same emotions in violet orbs, and horror, concern, and utter bafflement in black ones. They were all here. I almost wanted to smile.

"Heero? What's going on? What are you doing here? What happened to you?" Quatre's voice was laced with worry. He reached out as though he wanted to touch me, but couldn't bring himself to.

I wanted to assure him, but my tongue felt heavy. I couldn't lift it. I could barely move my eyes. My lungs and throat felt thick with cotton, and there was a blurry red tint in my vision. I would've had been afraid if I hadn't still been able to feel the clarity. No, I wasn't reverting back. Everything was still clear. My blood could not hide the truth anymore.

"Heero…Good Gods, buddy," Duo said, kneeling next to Quatre before me. He actually touched my skin before retracting his hands.

I HAD to speak. There was too much that could be assumed if I didn't clarify something NOW.

"…not…" I gagged on my own words, it too so much effort to form them. My head somehow managed to shake as I continued, "…not…my…fault…not…" a pause, "…purpose…"

"Not on purpose, Heero?" Quatre offered. I nodded.

"…I…accident…"

"Heero, I don't understand. This was an accident? You're here by accident? What?"

I shook my head. I felt heavy. "…can't…see…you…" a shuddering breath. I was choking. "…can't…stay…"

I couldn't finish. Their eyes were the last thing I saw.

Darkness claimed me.

* * *

Trowa didn't know what to expect. He really didn't. He though this was just going to be a normal mission, a normal, run of the mill assignment. He certainly didn't expect to find one Heero Yuy sprawled on his stomach in the rain, bleeding from God knows how many wounds, and only barely conscious.

He was shocked to say the least.

He suddenly found himself crouched in front of the former Wing pilot, whom he hadn't seen in almost three years. Prussian eyes once alighted with fire gazed at him listlessly, almost lifelessly. But then, he did look pretty close to dying. Such a dull, drone, hollow color. Was Heero that empty now? Or was it just his injuries?

"Heero?" he finally said, amazed at the wonder and shock that thickly layered his tone.

That single word instantly caught the attention of the others, for it was uttered none too quietly, even though not loud. All eyes locked in on the half-dead pilot.

"Heero!" Quatre shouted, racing over. The others were hot on his heels.

The dull blue eyes finally lifted and fixed on Trowa's green ones, studying them. They slowly moved from his to Quatre's, then to Duo's, then to Wufei's, lingering on each. A quick something flashed in those blue depths before it was submerged. Recognition, maybe?

Quatre came forward and Trowa moved back out of the way. The blonde Arabian knelt before Heero.

"Heero? What's going on? What are you doing here? What happened to you?" Quatre's voice was laced with worry. He had no idea what was going on. How did this happen? How did Heero get here? Or like this? He reached out to touch him, but withdrew in fear. Fear of what he wasn't sure. He wasn't completely sure Heero was real.

Heero's mouth opened slightly, as though he wanted to speak. He didn't seem to notice as blood slowly trickled from the corner, added to the red trail already there. More blood was pouring from his forehead into his eyes, and he blinked sluggishly, his movements drunken as though he were drugged.

Hm. Drugged from pain.

"Heero…Good Gods, buddy," Duo said, kneeling next to Quatre. He reached out for the face that had haunted his mind since that awful day, fingertips brushing the cold skin. He bit back a hiss as he pulled back his hands. Heero's skin was like ice, but he felt like it burned him.

Now Heero looked fiercely distressed and determined. He opened his mouth a bit wider, tongue moving. Frustration passed through his eyes and he made a gagging sound.

"…not…" it was as though the words were stuck in his throat, like bile, and he was forcing, vomiting it out, shaking his head faintly, "…not…my…fault…not…" here he paused "…purpose…"

"Not on purpose, Heero?" Quatre helped.

Heero nodded very faintly and continued, "…I…accident…"

When he didn't continue, Quatre frowned. "Heero, I don't understand. This was an accident? You're here by accident? What?"

He shook his head, eyes pained and perhaps angry that he couldn't speak enough to be understood. Duo and Trowa noticed that he looked about to pass out.

"…can't…see…you…" he said weakly, shuddering and choking, "…can't…stay…"

He then promptly blacked out, eyes rolling shut as his head pitched forward with a soft thud on the concrete. Duo finally seemed to snap out of it, now that those eyes could no longer be seen, and hesitantly gathered Heero to him.

"And you say I'm an idiot," he mumbled sadly.

Trowa and Quatre glanced over the unconscious pilot, checking his wounds.

"He's freezing," Quatre said, "Who knows how long he's been out here, or how long he's been injured. The rain isn't helping any."

"He's bleeding too much," Wufei added, finally finding his voice, "At this rate it'll kill even him. There's so much it's impossible to tell exactly where it's coming from."

Duo nodded wordlessly as he tried to focus on something other than the blossoming crimson that was seeping into his clothes, drenching him, drowning him. Heero's hair was longer, but not by too much. His face held a faint frown and his body was tense. Duo could hardly believe it was him. It had been so long since they had last seen the Japanese boy, since that nightmarish incident. If it weren't for the cold, dead weight he held in his lap, he wouldn't have believed it, but it was all too solid. Too real.

"What do we do now?" he asked quietly, brushing the boy's bangs lightly.

"We need to get him to a hospital," Trowa said calmly, "We can't help him here."

Duo nodded. Trowa waited until he made eye contact, seeking permission almost, before gently taking Heero into his own arms and lifting him up. Quatre and Duo stood as well.

"Let's go."

END PART ONE

* * *

First chapter complete. Vague, I know. I'm quite sure you have no idea what the hell is going on and are staring at your screen thinking, 'this chick is messed up. Is this supposed to make sense?' I assure you I'm sane, and that the pieces will all fall together as the story progress. If you're willing to put up with the riddles and bullshit long enough to stick around. Back out now, or stay posted. It's gonna be a hell of a ride. 

PREVIEW: Can You see the Cracks? Part two

_How can I explain? My world is falling apart. A secret I've held in for so long, and a truth I don't want to acknowledge. Can I be saved? What am I afraid of? Save me from myself. There's a bloodstain on the window, and the hand is clearly mine. I can't stop falling apart. Will you pick up the pieces?_


	2. Can You See the Cracks? part two

_How can I explain? What words can I use? This gnawing feeling inside that often turns my attention back to you. But how could I tell you? You still can't see what I see. And I don't want you to._

_It's not black, in the darkness. Nor is it white, in the light. I'm stuck somewhere in gray. Maybe it was in-between all along._

_The blood is finally fading, but the pain is fresh._

_I've held the pieces in my hand for a long time now. They've cut so deep they can't go any further, and it's been so long the bleeding finally stopped. But I can't drop them yet._

_How can I explain? My world is falling apart. A secret I've held in for so long, and a truth I don't want to acknowledge. Can I be saved? What am I afraid of? Save me from myself. There's a bloodstain on the window, and the hand is clearly mine. I can't stop falling apart. Will you pick up the pieces?_

* * *

And the World Falls Apart 

By: Blade-kun

* * *

**First Time: Bloody Pieces**

Can you see the Cracks?

_Beep. Beep._

Faded blue eyes eased open. The first thing they were aware of was pain. The second thing was the white walls and familiar hospital machinery. A groan escaped chapped lips as a hand reached up to run through unruly bangs before resting over the eyes. The lips twisted into a bitter smile.

"This is a nightmare…"

_Beep. Beep._

"I don't know. It feels more like I woke up from a long dream."

Heero didn't even raise his arm.

"I don't suppose you'll leave if I ask?" Weak, raw, but steady.

Duo frowned slightly from where he leaned in the doorway before standing and moving next to Heero, leaning over him.

"No."

"Hn."

Duo leaned a little further, braid falling over his shoulder.

"Heero," he said, "You can't keep running. It really has felt like a long, strange dream since you left. Seeing you again brought me out of it."

"So glad to know I can put you to sleep when I'm not around."

Duo's frown deepened almost into a scowl. "Heero--"

"Don't patronize me, Duo!" Heero snarled, refusing to lift his arm, "You wouldn't understand! You couldn't possibly understand!" he paused to take a breath, "You'll get your fucking answers soon enough! Now get out!"

Duo recoiled somewhat in surprise. He hadn't been expecting that. Never in all the time he'd known him had he ever once seen Heero lose his temper like that.

"I believe I said get out, Duo, or do I need to define what it means!"

Duo took a deep breath and steeled himself. "Heero…I can't leave. I won't."

Heero bristled, but knew there was more.

"Three years ago Heero, you did something that scared the shit out of all of us. You scared us bad, Heero. And when it was all over, you were even emptier than before. Even emptier then you had been when I first met you. And then you left. You were gone just like that. We always wondered, Heero. We always looked for you out of the corners of our eyes."

Heero snorted in disdain. "You were chasing shadows. You denied. You followed lies," he spat them like curses, "You're all idiots."

"You gave us nothing, Heero!"

"That was the point!" Finally he lifted his arm and glared fiercely at Duo. "I didn't want you to have anything! And because you were all so stupid, you wasted your seconds, your thoughts, and your glances on some stupid, fucking little fantasy that I would return to you, that I would always linger nearby! I left, Duo! What about that didn't you understand!"

Duo almost couldn't reply. Heero tossed his arm back over his eyes.

"Chasing some fucking dream," he muttered, "Get out, Duo."

Duo's eyes were pained as he stared down at his ex-comrade.

'Are you broken, Heero?'

What he did next was unexpected, but Heero refused to show any signs of surprise when Duo grabbed the hand over his face and entwined their fingers.

"Heero…I don't know what's going on…And right now, you scare me, man…I'm downright terrified of you, and of what happened to you…but even so…I'm your friend…" he paused, "I know you're hurt…somehow, you're hurt really bad…even if I'm not like Quatre, I can tell."

Heero didn't say anything.

"We need to know, Heero. All we want is to know."

He squeezed Heero's hand slightly before letting go, brushing the bangs with his fingers as he drew he hand away.

"I'll be back," he said.

Heero didn't reply. Duo sighed and shuffled to the door, glancing at Heero once more before leaving. Heero listened until he could no longer hear the footsteps, and let out a low, anguished chuckle.

"So fucked up."

* * *

"How is he?"

Duo leaned against the door as it closed with a soft click, running a shaky hand through his bangs as he let out an equally shaky breath.

"Honestly, Quatre…I'm amazed I'm not dead right now," he said, closing his eyes, "He was pissed. At first he wouldn't look at me. He had his arm over his face. But when I finally saw his eyes…Gods, man, I wanted to bolt from the room. I'm damn petrified of him, Quatre."

Quatre just nodded, eyes sad. "We all are."

"I don't get what happened to him. I never understood. One day he was just Heero, the plain old, mission obsessed moody Heero we all knew, and the next…he just suddenly went whack. Like he couldn't stand to be alive. Like everything little thing, was too much to handle, and he couldn't even stand the air or noise or anything."

"I don't know, Duo. I told you how blank he felt when it happened. I couldn't sense anything in him. Nothing at all."

"Don't sweat it, Q. It's not your fault."

Wufei scowled from where he sat on the couch. "I grow tired of this," he said, "I'm sick of not knowing what happened, or understand why Yuy is more a shell than we've ever known him."

"He scares us all," Trowa added, "I haven't felt this wary of him since I first heard him laugh on the battlefield."

They all shuddered. They remembered that one all too well.

"He'll probably spill the beans about why we found him like that when we're all present," Duo said, "At least, that's the impression I got. He's not up to telling it individually."

"Should we go now?" Wufei asked.

Duo's eyes bulged. "Hell no, man! If you want to be scared out of your wits, then be my guest! But I ain't going near that room again for at least another hour or two."

Quatre frowned. "Why?"

Duo turned to him, looking grim.

"You didn't see his eyes."

They didn't argue any further.

* * *

Heero heard the door open but stubbornly kept his eyes staring at the ceiling as the other pilots filled into the room. He wasn't angry anymore. He just didn't want to face them.

There was a long moment of silence. Surely they weren't expecting him to go first. If they were, they were going to be disappointed.

"Heero," Quatre finally said, "What were doing at that base?"

"Looking for answers."

"Answers to what?"

"Questions."

Duo frowned. So Heero was going to be vague. "Quit being difficult, Heero."

"I'm not."

Duo was not up to arguing with him.

Quatre sighed. "How did you get hurt?"

Heero gave a mild shrug. "I got caught."

"Heero, please."

Heero looked over at Quatre's pleading eyes and sighed. It was time to stop beating around the bush. Grunting, he sat up, waving off Quatre's help, and leaned back.

"Ask your questions."

Quatre nodded. "Let's start over. What happened to you three years ago?"

Heero sighed, already tired of this. "I saw the truth. I saw the truth of something that made everything clear. I couldn't handle it."

"The truth to what?"

Heero glanced at him. "That I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Duo interjected.

Heero turned to him. "Because you can't handle it."

The note of finality erased arguments.

"Okay…why did…you do what you did? What drove you to do…that?"

Flashbacks of a rainy day, open door, blood everywhere, covered in blood, horrified looks, utter shock, fear.

"I told you," Heero repeated, "I couldn't handle it."

Duo cringed. How he wished he could erase that nightmarish day from his mind. Thousands of killed, they'd said. Thousands killed that day. And a bloody Heero on Quatre's steps. Did Heero feel any remorse at all?

"How could you do it?" Quatre said, eyes pained.

Another callous shrug. "It made me feel better."

He said it in such a casual way Duo suddenly felt sick.

"It made you feel better!" he snarled, jumping out of his chair, "For God's sake, Heero! You killed hundreds of people that day!"

"You don't believe in God."

Trowa stopped Duo from lunging at the wounded pilot, the braided boy howling in anger.

"Thousands, Heero! You killed indiscriminately! Men, women, children, young, old! It didn't even matter to you! They all died for no reason! For NO reason! That day made history as one of the bloodiest, unprovoked massacres ever committed! And you're just gonna sit there and not care at all! What the FUCK is wrong with you!"

All the fear, anger, sorrow, and bitterness Duo had felt for it came pouring out. He wanted to cry, he wanted Heero to say it wasn't true, it was all a mistake, he hadn't really done something so horrible. He wanted him to deny it, tell him it never happened, it was a lie, just a horrible dream.

"You were chasing shadows. You denied. You followed lies."

"Chasing some fucking dream."

And he froze. He was doing exactly what Heero said. Heero was right. He was chasing a lie.

Heero answered.

"I did what I was made to do."

Duo shattered.

Letting out a feeble, frustrated growl he went limp in Trowa's grasp, no longer struggling. Trowa released him and he sank back into his chair, burying his face in his hands.

Why?

He didn't realize he said it aloud till Heero spoke again.

"I don't know."

Quatre finally found his voice again.

"Why did you leave?"

"To spare you."

Confused looks. "Spare us?"

"From what I knew. From the truth."

Before Quatre could question him further, Trowa spoke.

"You said you were at that base looking for answers. I'm assuming they're connected to this 'truth' you mentioned. How were you wounded? Surely you could have overcome whatever came at you."

Heero thought on it. "I don't know. Somehow, I just couldn't think. My mind left my body and they overwhelmed me. In a way, I suppose I let them. I couldn't think straight enough to stop them. Then I snapped back. I killed them. I ran." He suddenly looked far away, eyes glazed. "I couldn't go on. It was raining. I was bleeding. I figured why not die? It was over. I was tired."

"Heero?"

He came back to the present and glanced around at each of them. "You should've let me sleep."

"You can't believe we would have left you there to die," Quatre argued.

"Who said die? I said sleep."

Frowns. "I don't understand."

"No…" quietly, "you don't…"

Heero moved to lay down again, tossing an arm over his eyes.

"Leave."

"We won't do that, Heero."

He didn't argue. "Then be quiet."

They were. He slept.

"We still don't know anything," Wufei said, "We don't know anything more than we did before."

"No," Quatre said, "We don't. I'm even more confused. What 'truth'? What does he mean?"

"He's being an ass."

They turned to Duo, who was leaning back over his chair also covering his eyes.

"He knows something. He found out something awful. Something we would hate and regret knowing as soon as we heard it. He hates. He doesn't feel. He's completely empty now. He'll never tell us." Duo clenched his jaw. "All those people…and he doesn't care…he's not human anymore."

"Duo…"

Duo sat up and hung his head, leaning on his lap. "I give up on him, Quatre. I don't know what to believe anymore. I give up."

* * *

_Torn paper. Broken windows. Ruined furniture. Tears. Pain. A twisted smile._

_"You can't see."_

_The blood dripped to the floor._

_"Can't you see the spider web on my mirror?"_

_It's completely silent. The guilt isn't there._

_"You've still got blood in your eyes. No! Don't wipe it away."_

_A picture painted in blood. That all consuming red._

_"You shouldn't see."_

_It shatters everything. The pieces lie on the floor, scattered. The smile twists. The tears don't stop._

_"I don't want you to see."_

_A laugh. Sick, hollow, ringing. It's a terrible sound._

_"The truth is mine. I like the pain."_

_The ground is stained. The words can't be seen anymore. The voice can't be heard._

_"You can't look at the real me."_

_Can you see the blood on the window? It's a reminder of the hand that reached._

_"If you do…"_

_The rain is falling, but the blood's still there. It will never go away._

_"I'll kill you."_

_And time stops._

"I'll kill you."

END PART TWO

* * *

Now you must think I'm really sick in the head. Chapter 3's coming. Don't hold your breath. It's just getting worse. 

PREVIEW: Broken Mirror

_Don't open your eyes. It's better if you keep them closed. This is a sick reality I exist in. You shouldn't see it. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. It's not real. Don't try to save me. Give up. Walk away. Turn back. I will kill you._


	3. Broken Mirror

_In that first time, I ran from it. The fear of the truth is an overwhelming thing. It holds pain. Don't you want to see the future? Choking on a past that doesn't exist. The blood is still running. What is left for me? Maybe it was too much to ask of myself. It seems like I'm living in a dream. And I wonder if I'll wake up._

_Will you stay even if I leave? Will you stand if I fall?_

_Maybe the truth wasn't meant to be known. I'm taking away everything I knew, like sand falling through my fingers, and crushing it, hating it, loving it. Did you see what I did?  
_

_Don't look at me!_

_Don't open your eyes. It's better if you keep them closed. This is a sick reality I exist in. You shouldn't see it. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. It's not real. Don't try to save me. Give up. Walk away. Turn back. I will kill you._

* * *

And the World Falls Apart 

By: Blade-kun

* * *

**First Time: Bloody Pieces**

Broken Mirror

How strange. That was the first thing Heero thought when he woke up again. How strange. What was strange? He glanced around. The room was empty. The room was empty. That wasn't too strange. The room was quiet. That wasn't strange either.

He didn't like it. That's what was strange.

But why? Why did it matter? His instincts told him that something important had happened after he fell asleep. What was it?

He stared at the door long and hard. It was calling. Heero could feel it. He needed to go. He needed to leave.

Then the door happened. Surprised eyes met his.

"Heero…you're awake."

"I want to leave."

Trowa frowned ever so slightly. "Leave? What do you mean?"

"I want to leave here. Help me get out."

"Heero…I don't think I can do that. There's too much to be taken into consideration. Quatre--"

"Fuck Quatre. I want out now."

If Trowa took offense to that, he didn't show it.

"Listen, Heero. I can't just let you leave. We're all tired, Heero. We're all at our end with you. We don't know what to do. We just can't take it anymore."

"Then let me leave. Let me disappear like before. If I'm gone, you won't have to worry about it anymore."

Trowa frowned. "That's not the way it works, Heero. If anything, it just makes it worse. When you were gone, we only grew more confused."

"But without me there, you were more able to forget."

Trowa looked surprised.

"Admit it. It's past time." Heero stood and walked to the window. "You can't stand to be near me. When you look at me, it raises questions. Questions you don't know if you want the answers to. None of you can stand it when I'm near because you don't understand. You're afraid. And that is why I won't stay."

"Because of us?"

A nod. "Because of you."

Trowa looked pained. "Heero…we don't mean to drive you away…it's not like that…"

"You misunderstand me, Trowa. When I said I was leaving because of you, I meant I was leaving for you."

Now Trowa looked utterly confused. "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't. That's why I'm explaining. I'm leaving so you guys won't have to suffer on my behalf."

"Heero, that's ridiculous. Didn't you hear what I said? It was because you left that we were hurt."

"No," Heero shook his head, pulling on a black turtleneck from the rack, "You were just confused. You didn't suffer. If I stay, though, you will. And I'm not willing to do that. I don't want that on my hands."

"Heero, you can't--"

Suddenly there was a gun pointing at his face.

"Can't what?"

Trowa honestly wished he knew where in the world Heero had gotten that gun.

"You underestimate my resources," Heero answered, as though reading his mind. He was now dressed in a pair of black jeans and the turtleneck with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"Heero, please. You're not well," Trowa pleaded, desperate to change his mind.

Heero shrugged. "I'm the perfect soldier, remember?"

Trowa's eyes widened. He began calculating ways to stop Heero, noting the door and the equipment.

"Stop it," Heero said, almost bored sounding, "You won't be able to get around me. If I really have to, I'll shoot both your legs out to make things easier, but seeing as I'm trying to spare you from harm, I'd really rather not. If you move and let me leave quiet, you might be able to contract the others in time. Not that it will matter, but it's your best plan of action."

For one of the few, rare times in his life, Trowa was truly frustrated. He knew Heero would shoot him if he tried something, and right now he really needed his legs. But if he let Heero leave the room, there really might be no way to stop him. He'd have to take a serious gamble.

Sighing, or perhaps growling, in defeat, he stepped aside from the door, and Heero brusquely left through it. Trowa was overwhelmed by a sense of complete and utter defeat that froze him in place for the few precious seconds he was sure Heero would need before pressing the com. It took a few seconds to be answered.

Just because there was little chance didn't mean they couldn't try.

"Yes?"

"Get me Quatre."

Quatre was on barely a moment later.

"Trowa? I can sense your distress, what's wrong?"

"Heero's leaving."

"What!" It wasn't just Quatre he heard.

"What do you mean leaving!" Wufei's voice.

"He's trying to leave the building."

"Why didn't you stop him!" Duo this time.

"I couldn't."

"You couldn't stop a wounded, unarmed patient!"

"He wasn't unarmed, and being hurt's never stopped him before."

"Trowa!" Quatre's frantic voice.

"He's leaving, you guys," Trowa frowned, "Stop him."

They didn't need to reply.

* * *

Heero heard the alarms. He knew they were coming. But they wouldn't stop him. He wouldn't let them.

Glancing around the corner, he spotted one of the guards running by and whistled. The guard turned in his direction.

"You!" he said.

Before he could blink Heero's fist was embedded in his stomach. He fell to the floor. Heero dragged him back around the corner and glanced over him, taking his gun straps and buckling them unto himself. As an afterthought he undid the man's watch and took that as well. He checked the ammo of both guns before checking the watch and looking up. An exasperated sigh passed over his lips.

'Bad move, Quatre. Sticking me in a hospital I know.'

He snapped his arm out and fired a single bullet into a nearby power box. It ripped through and plunged the floor into darkness.

Quatre looked up as the lights went out and let out a shout of frustration.

"What's wrong, Q?" Duo asked.

"I'm such an idiot!" the blonde cried, "I just…I never thought he…!"

"What are you babbling about!" Wufei snapped, "Just say it!"

"Heero's been in this hospital before! He probably knows the layout like the back of his hand! But I never thought he'd try to run! There's no way we'll stop him in time!"

"It doesn't matter!" Duo argued, "We still have to try!"

"Split up!" Wufei said, "We'll be useless to stop Yuy if he stay together!"

They nodded and rushed into different directions. Duo started to go in one, but abruptly stopped. A look of realization passed over his features before he dashed off in a different one.

'You may know the layout, Heero, but you forgot one thing!' He gritted his teeth and sped up, 'You forgot I know you!'

Heero looked out. He was still several stories up, but he was exactly where he wanted to be. The garage roof was just outside this window. It was a three-story drop. Easy.

He fired a few bullets into the glasses before smashing through it, shielding his face from the splintered glass and landed in a crouch on the roof below. Standing, he dusted himself off and glanced over the side. There was a car not far from the building. It was about a four-story drop this time.

Perfect.

"Heero!"

Heero turned slowly and felt a sense of déjà vu at the sight of Duo, gun trained on him.

"Don't do it!" Duo growled, eyes narrowed, "I swear to God I'll fire a bullet into both your legs if you try!"

Heero almost smirked. He'd made the same threat to Trowa.

"I told you, you don't believe in God."

"Shut up!" Duo shouted, "I won't let you leave!"

"There, Duo, you don't have a choice."

And he toppled over the side.

The gun fired.

Heero twisted his body and landed on the ground so hard the impact created a small crater. He then stood and jumped into the car.

Duo ran to the edge. He watched Heero get in. He fired. He missed. Heero drove away. He lowered the gun, arms falling limply to his sides. He watched him drive away. He watched him get away. Again.

Trembling rage.

"HEEROOOO!"

* * *

"Any sign of him!"

"Nothing!"

Quatre bit his lip. Were they too late?

"Winner!"

He turned to see Wufei and Trowa come up to him.

"Did you find him?" he asked frantically.

They shook their heads. "Nothing. He must've tried another route."

"Then that just leaves--"

"GOD DAMMIT!"

They all started.

"--Duo?"

When they reached the braided boy, they were shocked at the sight. Duo was throwing himself at the walls in a animal rage, beating and pounding with his fists, and violently lashing out at anyone who got to close.

"Step back!" Trowa called to the guards trying to calm the hysterical pilot.

Quatre stepped forward. "Duo--"

"He's gone, dammit! He got away AGAIN!" Duo slammed into the wall, "SON OF A BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING---ARRGGGHH!"

Duo let out a roar of anger as he battered the walls, cracks snaking out all over the abused area. Another guard foolishly came forward, and Duo whipped around and bashed him in the face, all the while swearing and cursing the ex-Wing Zero pilot.

Wufei had had enough.

In a flash he grabbed Duo from behind, struggling to hold him in place.

"LET ME GO, WUFEI!" Duo snarled. "I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM! THAT FUCKING BASTARD!"

"Maxwell, shut up and calm down!" Wufei snarled back, "Yuy's gone, damn you! Inflicting massive property damage won't change that! You're acting like even more of a fool than he is! Calm DOWN, damn you!"

Duo continued to thrash wildly. Trowa came forward and grabbed him as well.

"Duo, please!" Quatre begged, "We can still find Heero! But not if you continue to act like this! Don't fight us, Duo! We're not your enemies!" He looked down and then back up, eyes full of sorrow, "Heero's not your enemy!"

Duo froze and his mad struggling ceased.

"_Heero's not your enemy!"_

And then he fell limp in the arms of his friends, head bowed. Wufei and Trowa looked down at him, eyes a mix of confusion and concern.

"Yes, he is," Duo said softly, "He's a traitor."

"Sir!"

Quatre turned.

"It's been confirmed! Heero Yuy has escaped in one of the medical vehicles!"

Quatre bowed his head. "Heero…"

Duo clenched his teeth, eyes obscured.

'Traitor.'

* * *

Heero panted slightly. He was exhausted from the effort and now a safe distance from the hospital. The car swerved to the side and he stopped it, opening the door and stumbling out. Blood dripped from his arm.

Duo's bullet may have missed, but his old injuries were returning with a vengeance. What a bitch.

Heero held his shoulder, hissing, as he began to walk away from the car.

'Is running away all I ever do?'

He moaned, faces flashing in his mind. Duo's burned through to the front, and Heero now studied the strange look it had. Betrayal, pain, sorrow, frustration, anger, and weariness. There was something else there though. Something Heero didn't recognize. Resignation?

He snorted. Duo knew it was hopeless. And he tried anyway.

"Just as I said…chasing a fucking dream."

And a cold rain began to fall.

_

* * *

It was cold. Why is it so cold?_

'_This is my life…'_

_Quiet footsteps in the empty silence. A breath that is swallowed._

'_This is everything I've ever been and done.'_

_The face turns. Looking away because it can't stand to see._

'_I continue to run away.'_

_The truth is too much. And the choice is too terrible. Tightening._

'_I have no choice but to run away.'_

_A squeeze around the heart like a hand. It feels as though it will burst._

'_I can't stay. I can't live in that world anymore.'_

_There is only pain. Nothing else exists._

'_When the war ended, I thought I'd finally be able to.' _

_Blood falls. A cold touch on the cheek. A lingering memory._

'_But then…that dirty little secret…I have nothing now.'_

_Trembling. Falling. Who is there to catch him?_

'_I am empty.'_

_And suddenly it's so clear. There is no one. There is nothing to save._

'_I have finally become what J always wanted.'_

_And he can't breathe anymore._

'A machine.'

END PART THREE

* * *

And there's chapter 3. Things are slowly clearing up. Don't worry. It will all make sense at the end.

PREVIEW: The Reflection in my Soul isn't Me

_It's blank. It isn't there anymore. I don't recognize the face. It isn't me. I want to scream. Please, wake me from this nightmare. It's not the same anymore. It's all so false. I am fake. I can't live anymore. But then…I don't know if I was ever really alive to begin with. Because the picture isn't real. And you can't see anymore._


End file.
